I met Connie in 1998. I had just started my transition and had been kicked out of my house. My sister, Jenn, was li
ving with her at the time. Jenn told me there was an extra room at the house and I was welcome to it. Before I moved in, I met Connie. She was a very soft spoken, sensitive person. She had a very level head. She welcomed me into her house. As I got to know her better, over the five years we lived together, I saw her invite many people into our house. Often they had no other place to go. They were at their wits end and were not sure how they were going to survive. Connie would take them in, console them, and get them back on their feet. Many people feel they owe their life to Connie.
ving with her at the time. Jenn told me there was an extra room at the house and I was welcome to it. Before I moved in, I met Connie. She was a very soft spoken, sensitive person. She had a very level head. She welcomed me into her house. As I got to know her better, over the five years we lived together, I saw her invite many people into our house. Often they had no other place to go. They were at their wits end and were not sure how they were going to survive. Connie would take them in, console them, and get them back on their feet. Many people feel they owe their life to Connie.
4 comments:
Over the past week I have had time to reflect on the life of Connie Place; a friend and mentor. While there are many anecdotes which I could share, none would do her justice. Connie was unique and very special!
In 1998 I met Connie through her electrolysis work at Carla’s. She was one of the first T-People that I knew from the San Jose area. I was working as a Detective at the time and would stop by Carla’s for a soda and to talk with several of the people there. Connie was always friendly and just seemed like one of those people who you could sit down with and make friends. I had not transitioned at the time and was fighting my own demons; primarily family issues. Connie had children also and spoke openly about her family and the problems that she had to address with them. The conversations I had with her were some of the most frank discussions that I’ve ever had on the topic. She helped me to see life and to understand who I was, and accept myself before I could love anyone else. While I questioned this, there was truth to it and ultimately the truth and reality of what she had to say, painful as she said it was, was her reality and mine; we were transsexual. While I had struggled with my gender issues for most of my life and had been in therapy for 18 years, Connie’s words struck a nerve as no one else’s ever had. We are who we are and if we are to survive we have to love the person inside and learn to accept ourselves as we really are. This is the one of the truths I learned from Connie.
As I learned to accept myself, and subsequently the demise of my “Evil Twin Brother”, I found myself alone. My father and brothers had all but disowned me and those I had called friend before I began transition became conspicuously absent or outright hostile. My spouse asked me to leave our home and my children struggled with my disclosure about my intent to transition. During this highly emotional time there was one person that was there for me and that was Connie. She sat with me, cried with me, talked, listened, and spent hours helping me with the struggle to simply survive. Ultimately she asked me into her home, offering it as a safe place to begin the long journey into transition. That was in 2001.
I later learned that this was not the first time that Connie had asked a “stray” to come home with her. During my months living in the “T-House” on S. Daniel Way with Connie, Debbi, and Shelly there were a good many people whom Connie invited to dinner, to visit, and to stay simply because they needed a friend. They needed to socialize and be “themselves” in a loving, safe environment. Connie always made one feel welcome and at home. She was a “Rock” for so many people who were foundering between lives (literally). People gravitated to this woman and appreciated her wisdom, her openness, her generosity, and her huge capacity to see the good in all of us. I cannot think of a moment when I ever heard Connie utter a harsh word about someone else; even if they deserved it. It was simply not who she was!
I fondly remember the TGSV Summer barbeques with many, many people from the community attending. Connie and Debbi were always the first to chip in, to cook, to help out and to clean up; all the time talking and mentoring the “strays” that came into their lives.
I like to think that Connie’s legacy is one of selfless service to the community. She formed a family of friends which she protected and shepherded with love. She was also a driving force in TGSV along with Debbi Shouten, Jenny Wolcott, Leighann Weiland, Millie Brown, Shelly Prevost, Jamie Faye Fenton, and Marci Chapdelaine. She wanted the South Bay Transgender Community to be like a family and to care for one another, since this was something all too frequently absent in our lives, post-transition.
One thing that I will always remember about Connie is that EVERY time she saw you in person, she gave you the warmest, most comforting hug. Her hugs were famous! She was always asking how I was doing, and what was going on in my life. We parted households in 2002, going our separate ways, but she always managed to stay in touch and even now, when the parting seems so much more traumatic, somehow I know she’ll stay in touch and whenever I need one I know I’ll feel the warmth of one of her hugs.
With Love….
Julie Marin
I remember all the times I spent with Connie getting electrolysis done, but I also remember the friend Connie was to my family. She and Debbie had us over for dinner often. She recognized when times were tough for us, and allowed me to run an electrolysis tab up to over $2000, which I paid in full a few months before she left to Colorado. She finished my SRS clearing less then a week before she moved to Colorado. She and Debbie were to have dinner at our house when all of a sudden they had to move. I think the impact she had on our community was great, SHE HELPED PEOPLE.
obviously like your web site however you have to test the spelling on several of your posts.
Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very troublesome to inform the reality
on the other hand I'll surely come back again.
Here is my homepage deals on sky hd for existing customers
Thinking of Connie. Happy Angel Birthday. You are misses.
Post a Comment