Memorial Gathering

Connie Place

March 13, 1948 - June 23, 2007

7:00 – 10:00 PM
Tues. July 10

Carlas

195 Race Street

San Jose, CA 95126

A light has certainly gone out in the universe; Connie was a very special person. She will be cremated in Colorado but we will hold a memorial service here in California for her friends and family. We will be holding the memorial on Tuesday, July 10 from 7pm to 10 pm at Carlas (124 Race Street, San Jose, CA 95126). Carla will provide lasagna and we will provide sodas and water. Please bring a side dish to share. We will have a card to sign from all of us. If you can come, please let me know via email (smb123@sbcglobal.net) or phone (408-323-9858) and let me know how many guests you will be bringing.

Sincerely,

Shannon Bros

How I first met Connie

I met Connie in 1998. I had just started my transition and had been kicked out of my house. My sister, Jenn, was living with her at the time. Jenn told me there was an extra room at the house and I was welcome to it. Before I moved in, I met Connie. She was a very soft spoken, sensitive person. She had a very level head. She welcomed me into her house. As I got to know her better, over the five years we lived together, I saw her invite many people into our house. Often they had no other place to go. They were at their wits end and were not sure how they were going to survive. Connie would take them in, console them, and get them back on their feet. Many people feel they owe their life to Connie.

Lolabell Connies truck.

Connie rebuilt this truck from the ground up. She named it Lolablell. She was very proud of her. She used it for her equipment repair business. Connie always love to work with heavy equipment but that male dominated, macho world was difficult to work in right after her transition. But as time went on and Connie became more confident in herself, she move back into that world. She was able to establish a business and did very well for herself.

Silencing Chevy’s restaurant

Early in our transition we all use to go out to dinner at a local Chevy’s. You have to keep in mind that this was ten years ago and most people had never heard the word transgender before. The first time we went into Chevy’s, the waitress was a very flustered. She didn’t know what to do. Finally, she sat us at a table at the back of the restaurant. I think in her mind she wanted to keep us in a less conspicuous place. But in order to get us there we had to walk through the entire restaurant. As we walked through Chevy’s a hush came over the place. I’ve never been in a quiet Chevy’s before so it was pretty spooky. Finally, people started talking again.

Over time we frequented many restaurants in the area. We became friends with the waitresses and they seemed to relax. The earth wasn’t going to stop spinning. Customers weren’t going to run out of the place. They started giving us special treatment. Also as the hormones took effect it became easier to pass. People just didn’t seem to notice us. It was nice to be able to eat dinner without a lot of drama.

Connie and I had many talks about being true to ourselves. It took a while to feel safe to let down the walls. It took a while to get comfortable and find out who we really were. All we needed was a little time, confidence and acceptance and we were very happy.

Electrolysis with Connie

Connie learned electrolysis after she transitioned from Male To Female [MTF]. Hair removal was her way of giving something highly valued back to her community. Her new skill also allowed her to escape from having to work in the male dominated, macho world of construction and the operation of heavy equipment. MtF transgenders need to under go hundreds of hours of electrolysis. Because of the long and usually very painful time spent together, Connie would come to know her clients very well. She became more than just an electrolysis technician. She would become a friend and a surrogate therapist to her clients. She would also come to know more about her clients than perhaps their own therapist would! If her clients/friends were in crisis she would take them to her home so that they would not be alone. If they didn’t have money she would still provide costly electrolysis service.

Connie’s surgery

Connie finally got the money together to get her SRS done. In those days, Meltzer was in Portland. Connie wasn’t in a relationship with Debbie at that time, so I volunteered to go there with her. I didn’t want her to be alone. It was a good thing I did. After Connie came out of surgery, they didn’t have her drip control pain killer setup. Connie was moaning in pain and the nurses were doing anything! When I told them Connie was in pain, they told me that this was a very painful surgery. Well of course it is if you don’t give her pain medication! They seemed so nonchalant about it all. Like it didn’t matter! They finally got it going. I not who was yelling louder Connie or me.